Well, our last summer vacation is over! We had a really great summer, but truthfully, part of me is glad that we’re done with vacations for now. I didn’t revert all the way back to old ways, but with each week on vacation, I got more and more comfortable with eating bad unhealthy foods.
Yes, I worked out every day on vacation, but I feel so icky and unhealthy inside. I feel bloated, gross, and fat. I know I’m not fat, but I don’t feel “right”. I hate that I’ve come this close again to poor choices.
I hate that I feel helpless.
Helpless because I know what’s right, but I can’t stop myself from making the wrong decision. Example. We got ice cream close to every day last week. Not that bad because we were walking almost a mile (up/down hills) to the ice cream stand, and I was only getting kiddie portions. But one day, while out driving, we stopped for ice cream, and I got a kiddie cup and couldn’t stop myself from also ordering a piece of chocolate cake as well. I knew it was wrong, I knew the ice cream was enough of a treat, but my compulsion took over and won the fight. Ugh. It was not a good feeling, and it’s shameful looking back on it now.
And that’s why I am glad vacations are over. I can hopefully get back to healthy eating, and get back to feeling fantastic inside and out. I don’t want to beat myself up too much over this, because that is not a healthy attitude either. I know that an occasional treat can be beneficial and I can’t obsess over it! There has to be a balance between good and evil. But for the most of the month of August, the evil was tipping the scales!
Weighed myself this AM, and thankfully, I’m 147.6 – Saturday when we got home (mid afternoon), I was 149+ so it’s a relief that I haven’t gained as much weight as I feel like I have on the inside.
Today is Monday, new day, new week! I am going to do better! Not going to obsess over my bad choices. Just get over it, and move on.
I have to remember to take each experience as a lesson to learn more about myself! The more I realize about myself, the more powerful I become, and the less power the compulsion will have!
Deb always remember you are also “human”. We are not perfect. When you stumble just get back up and keep going. :) Good for you saying no the the chips in the office. Look how much you have accomplished over the year. Pat yourself on the back and move forward. Good for you!
Thanks for your visit Pen! I try to keep telling myself that it’s alright to stumble! Just makes you keep learning! But it’s no always easy to be easy on yourself! Haha
Thanks again!