Well, our last summer vacation is over! We had a really great summer, but truthfully, part of me is glad that we’re done with vacations for now. I didn’t revert all the way back to old ways, but with each week on vacation, I got more and more comfortable with eating bad unhealthy foods.
Yes, I worked out every day on vacation, but I feel so icky and unhealthy inside. I feel bloated, gross, and fat. I know I’m not fat, but I don’t feel “right”. I hate that I’ve come this close again to poor choices.
I hate that I feel helpless.
Helpless because I know what’s right, but I can’t stop myself from making the wrong decision. Example. We got ice cream close to every day last week. Not that bad because we were walking almost a mile (up/down hills) to the ice cream stand, and I was only getting kiddie portions. But one day, while out driving, we stopped for ice cream, and I got a kiddie cup and couldn’t stop myself from also ordering a piece of chocolate cake as well. I knew it was wrong, I knew the ice cream was enough of a treat, but my compulsion took over and won the fight. Ugh. It was not a good feeling, and it’s shameful looking back on it now.
And that’s why I am glad vacations are over. I can hopefully get back to healthy eating, and get back to feeling fantastic inside and out. I don’t want to beat myself up too much over this, because that is not a healthy attitude either. I know that an occasional treat can be beneficial and I can’t obsess over it! There has to be a balance between good and evil. But for the most of the month of August, the evil was tipping the scales!
Weighed myself this AM, and thankfully, I’m 147.6 – Saturday when we got home (mid afternoon), I was 149+ so it’s a relief that I haven’t gained as much weight as I feel like I have on the inside.
Today is Monday, new day, new week! I am going to do better! Not going to obsess over my bad choices. Just get over it, and move on.
I have to remember to take each experience as a lesson to learn more about myself! The more I realize about myself, the more powerful I become, and the less power the compulsion will have!